Nesting and hatching

I have been "nesting" lately.  I have recently gotten over a cold, and I now have more energy to do things, like clean the house.  But because I'm about to have a baby, this isn't just called cleaning and has apparently turned me into a different species.  I seem to have become a bird of some sort, and started nesting in anticipation of having a baby bird. 

While it sounds strange to be nesting, it is very handy.  My apartment is getting more organized and cleaner than it has ever been before.  And with all this work I've been doing, maybe the baby will come sooner!  That would be great, for many reasons, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting out of that cramped cocoon.  However, now that the subject has been brought up, I would like to mention that I'm beginning to get a little worried about giving birth to this butterfly, or bird, or whatever is inside me.  While the idea of giving birth has been a far-off event, I have been calm and haven't worried too much about it.  I am planning on going eu-natural, or as much as a hospital would allow, and have been reading up on how to best manage the pain.  The Bradley Method was suggested to me by my sister-in-law, and has turned out to be a good route so far.  The general idea is to relax your body as much as possible, and just let it do it's thing- since it knows instinctively what to do and how to do it.  This should also be less painful than screaming and blaming and swearing to never be touched again, because you're not fighting the inner muscles that are working hard.  So, in theory this should be a piece of relaxing cake.  We shall see the effectiveness by the end result.  I haven't yet had any major contractions, just mostly Braxton Hicks, but getting a strong one of those that begins to feel like a real contraction has made me start to doubt...  Maybe I should read some more and go over the relaxing CD.  Yes, there is still hope for a drug-free birth, but I will keep my mind open in case of unforeseen, unmanageable pain.

Just a Summary

So, it's been a long time since I've updated, and I suppose I should just take a minute to sum up what has been going on the last few months.  I had my last day of work (at least for a while) on the 19th of August, and have been working at home since then.  I am currently 36 weeks along, and next week I will be considered full-term, and Leo will be welcomed out as soon as possible.  His official due date is October 6th, but he's getting bigger every day, and I am getting larger and less able to move.  But I still have to make his baby blanket and whatnot for the crib, so if he doesn't come for just two weeks, it should be perfect.
  Felix started school at UVU on the 29th of August, and has been loving it so far.  His major is Mechanical Engineering, and because UVU only offers the "pre" of that major, we will probably be moving to Logan for Utah State either next year or the year after.

  That's about all that's new.  Life is good.

It's a BOY!!!

So, we went to the hospital on tuesday for the ultrasound, and we saw our beautiful baby for the first time.  I don't know about other babies, but going by the lady doing the ultrasound, ours was a very squirmy baby.  I can second that declaration- he is constantly moving and kicking inside of me!  I thought that all babies were like that, but apparently not.  He was moving the entire time and we even saw him drink!  It was so precious.  Oh, and of course we also saw that he is indeed a boy, and definitely not a girl.  The technician and the doctor who came in afterward assured us that there is no doubt about it- he is definitely a he. 

For whomever my be reading this blog, I must warn you in advance if seeing placentas bothers you.  I want to put the ultrasound video on my blog, so if you would prefer not to see the gory details, please bypass this part of this post.

10 and a half weeks!

So, in just another week, after my doctor's appointment next Tuesday, I will finally be able to share the news with the world that I am pregnant.  I wanted to wait until then because then it will be about 12 weeks, which is when the chances of having a miscarriage are drastically reduced, and because this doctor's appt is when I will hear the baby's heart for the first time.  I have this weird desire to know for sure that there really is a baby there, before I go telling everyone that I was told that I'm pregnant.  Although, I'm pretty sure that there really is because I've never been so nauseous or so tired for so long.  And I'm also starting to feel a space in my abdomen that isn't myself. 


So, for this week my baby is the size of a Kumquat, which I think is that really sour oranges that my grandmother Celine used to pick and make into jam.  And according to babycenter.com, my baby is moving a lot, although I can't feel anything.  The joints and all main organs are all there- they're just still finishing up the development and starting to function more and more.  I really hope it's a girl, although I would love a boy too.  I just want a girl first, that's all.  Although, looking at Felix's and my family history, we are definitely more likely to have lots of boys.  But can't I have a girl first?  If it is a girl, we've decided on a name- Rachel Celine Guzman.  And if it does turn out to be a boy, maybe Jacob or Xavier.  We also already have a room set aside for the baby, and a crib... we're very excited to be having a baby, even though she (or he) isn't coming for 6 more months. 

No Screaming Necessary

  So, my threat must have worked somehow because I found out two days after writing the previous post that I am pregnant!  If this blog was popularly viewed, or even rarely viewed I wouldn't be able to post this.  However, since I have not yet told anyone of this blog, I am safe to share this secret information.  Felix and I just found out on Thursday night with a home pregnancy test, and officially on Friday after peeing in the BYU health center lab test cup. Needless to say Felix and I are overwhelmed with joy.  But, because it is so soon, I can't tell very many people.  So far I have only told my brothers, and a few close friends.  After the period of caution- when miscarriages are most common- I will announce this news to the world.  For now though, I will keep this blog a secret and share how the pregnancy is going with myself only.

Felix and I have been thinking of names, but I haven't happy with any of them except three girl names.  Hopefully we have 3 girls so we can use them all: Rachel Audrey, Aurora (Jo, Virginia, or something else), and Merari (something).  All of the boys names that we've brainstormed haven't been my favorite.  First I had the idea to use my brothers' middle names for first names and his brothers' first names for middle names.  So, Joseph Carlos, James Christian, and using my other two brothers: Vincent Allen.  However, I don't really like the name Vincent (I knew a gross Vincent in elementary school who ruined it for me) and James and Joseph are gross when said in spanish- Jose and Jaime... blech.  And honestly, they are just too common.  I don't want weird names like Blake or Darren or Brock, just something a little less used that's all...

Maybe the lack of liking any boy names is a sign that we're going to have a girl?  We shall see.  As of right now, the due date is October 7, 2011!

Baby Crazy

   It's official.  I want a baby and if I don't find out I'm pregnant in 2 days, I'm going to scream.  Maybe I should stop going to school and even better- move out of Provo.  If I were out of Provo I might not be so depressed whenever I see someone my own age or younger with multiple babies.
 
Here are the facts:

               1.  I've wanted a baby ever since I was a baby, or soon thereafter.  I loved playing with my baby dolls- especially my black water baby.
              2.  Although I was taking birth control for the first 6 months after getting married, I secretly hoped the pills would fail and I would be a young mother.  This may have been why I convinced my husband to buy over 12 tests within the last 7 months.
             3. I am now 22, which means that if I do get pregnant now, I am out of the teenage mother category but still eligible for the young mother- which has its social responses and benefits.
            4.  I'm beginning to think that, like discussed in the movie "Get Smart", my uterus has dried up and fallen out.  This idea scares me.
            5.  One of my best friends has been married only 6 months longer than me, and her baby is already 1 month old.  I'm falling behind.


   These reasons and more are why I think it's high time that my eggs kick into gear, if they're still there that is, and start progressing to their full potential. 

By the way- while I did have a white water baby with blonde hair, I chose the black one instead.  Could this have been foreshadowing to my future choice?  Thank you, Mom, for purchasing the black baby because it was on sale, allowing me to have a more colorful future.

Getting Old

I feel like I'm falling apart, and I'm not even 22 yet.  What is up with that?!  My knees are bad, my back constantly hurts, my hips are achy and my husband is going bald.  I guess that last one is more towards Felix getting old, but I feel the burden too.  He denies that he is losing any hair whatsoever, but I can tell that it is indeed thinner than it was only 4 months ago.  Maybe I'm stressing him out?  I know that I'm stressing myself out, that's for sure.

I feel like I'm ready for a break from life.  Well, at least from school anyway.  I want to just drop out and become what I was always afraid of becoming: the mother who dropped out of college to have children.  I never wanted this... until now.  I have been so stressed out lately that the only thing I can do is cry.  I don't know how long I'll be able to keep up balancing school, work, and doing all the house-wife duties.

I tried to cope at work by having a creativity outlet:

 

I was working in the visitor lot just north of the MOA, and I have to hand out little rectangle pieces of paper with tape called "validators" to allow visitors to park there.  It looks like a waste of time, but this tree saved me for the first part of my shift.